From the Fawcett diaries...

Under current censorship laws, we are obliged to not disclose anything which may incriminate persons living or dead. Here follows an extract:
'...and then C*****s had me pushed over roughly across the table, wheezing as his imperial breeches were unbuttoned by the Grand Equerry of the Pants. 'By the time one is, er, finished with you, your, er how should one put this, hind parts shall indeed be nothing more than a monstrous carbuncle', he expounded as ordained by almighty God...'