March 31, 2024

A quick summary of Abrahamic religions for Easter

Judaism: a localised faith with a sadistic deity either demanding sacrifices or committing genocide, with the idea that you get punished for eating pork or mixing shellfish with dairy products, or not mutilating the genitals of male infants. And then get sent to hell.

Christianity: a slightly better version where the god character raped a married woman and the resulting child grew up to be an itinerant preacher with a humanistic moral philosophy, and then got executed by the authorities for being popular, but the adherents to his cult gave him superpowers too just to be able to compete with the deities of the time, and have killed each other, ever since the stories about the man were compiled, over slightly different interpretations of what he may have said.

Islam: a later offshoot of the two above, with a new preacher declaring that he is on a divinely mandated mission, which then involves a lot of murderous military conquest. Also the customary punishment of people for eating pork or not mutilating the genitals of male infants, with drinking alcohol and allowing women to dress as they like as added offences leading to being sent straight to hell.

Considering all of the above, Easter may not be that bad since it now largely just means some holiday time with your family and eating a lot of chocolate, but it is still celebrating the gruesome crucifixion of a character presumably based on a real historical person, as if that were a glorious thing and could grant you absolution for anything bad that you've done. In short, at heart quite mentally ill.

November 18, 2023

Why keep a blog going?

 After so many years of not touching it, it becomes like a spring clean for the mind. I expect no readership; that's not the point of it. So, to clear all the bees from my bonnet, here goes.
Putin: now falling back on a modern-day version of Mainila, because he has nothing else left. Trying for Stalin without any actual Nazi invaders to justify being an egocentric amoral dictator.  
Trump: lies always seemed like a dependable option, as well as calling the man in charge too old when he's hardly much younger and has never been competent at anything, including business, understanding communication or the human race.
BAME: yes, right-minded people care, but every single white person isn't responsible for American slavery, so drop that if you want to be seen as a rational human being. Read some history, please.
Woke: a horrible American term again, but apparently we're now stuck with it, and it seems to have led to this. Go on, start burning books in the name of not offending anyone at all. I wonder who else burnt books to delete history?
LGBT plus all the add-ons: all the gay people I've ever known haven't wanted to,or given a shit about being bracketed together with people who are feeling that their sense of misalignment is not recognised. 


May 09, 2021

Just got the wankiest job ad I've ever seen...

and the competition for that is stiff:

Publicis Groupe has identified a unique opportunity to embed intelligence into our Production capability with the introduction of a new and innovative role called the Data Translator. The role has already proven initial success with a recent pitch win with a consumer healthcare brand, and has the potential to unlock new, untapped opportunities for clients. By being both reactive to insight and responsive to unforeseen trends, the Data Translator will influence the creative production process in a new and impactful way. In collaboration with the Production Accelerator, the Data Translator sits at the heart of the creative production process as one of two new ‘hybrid’ roles, enabling the flow of insight through the entire production process, from creative development and asset management through to audience targeting and media performance. Moreover, with increased focus on insight and optimisation, the Data Translator can empower the cross-functional team to deliver increased media effectiveness and efficiency while reducing creative waste and cost per asset. Knowledge of production process, omni-channel data expertise, and experience of media activation is critical to the role with a unique selling point focused on integration of creative asset, production usage and media performance data. This integration will provide a new depth of understanding on what creative assets are produced, how they are used and the performance they deliver as well as insight into asset decay and wear out over time. The Data Translator will need to collaborate with a range of partners as well as internal and client stakeholders to enable the necessary data integration and access additional data sources. This includes working with media operations and the production team to ensure the necessary data taxonomies are defined, implemented and cascaded to brand/market teams. It also means collaborating with insight and IT teams within the client organization to access consumer, social and digital insight. The insight derived from the data, combined with ongoing test and learn focused on audience, creative and asset performance, will provide a level of intelligence that is unique to our offering.

October 06, 2020

Trump did not have Coronavirus, did he?

Of course it's a massive insult to hundreds of thousands who have died. But you expect nothing less from the largest turd imaginable dominating the international media. The polls are looking bad for him, even the twisted constitution of the US may not allow him to annul a losing result in the election through outright dictatorship, and so he grabs on to the only thing he believes will perpetuate his self-created myth of invincibility, when it's just long enough before he has to finally face the music that he can make out that not only is he physically fit enough again to lead the country but that God is on his side. That and pity votes, as if flouting all medical advice to supposedly catch the virus somehow makes him closer to the average Joe. 
I no longer want Trump assassinated. Castration live on air without anaesthetic would certainly be an acceptable option, and every American who voted for him should be barred from ever leaving their shores again...if only either were achievable. This has all had the unfortunate side effect that when you see Johnson on TV, for all his self-involved bluster and hopelessness, you just think "Oh, bless. At least we've just got an utter twat in charge."

July 21, 2020

All paedophiles are white

This has gone too far. I just watched a new version of Alan Bennett's 1998 Talking Heads episode Playing Sandwiches, with Lucian Msamati (black) taking the role played in the original version by David Haig (white), of a paedophile living under a false identity. The role is utterly independent of, and without reference to, race. Yet because it's now a black actor playing a paedo, the BBC has seen it necessary because of the Black Lives Matter movement to add the disclaimer: “This film is set in the 1990s and reflects the language and social attitudes of its time.” Why stop at sex offenders? From now on, will we have this disclaimer before every piece of fiction or entertainment if it contains black characters who aren't saints? Jesus wept.

June 12, 2020

Po-faced over blackface

So, two and a half years after last posting, during which period we've seen Brexit, the unbelievably and exponentially growing odiousness of Trump and the concomitant collapse of any remaining global good will towards the United States, the blusterings of blimp Boris and, of course, a global pandemic on a scale not seen for a century and somehow seeming worse than the Spanish flu outbreak back then just because of modern media saturation and the constant babble of analysis and reproaches, what finally gets me to rise from my torpor?
The fact that they've now pulled Little Britain, The Mighty Boosh and The League of Gentlemen from Netflix, and in some cases even from the BBC's iPlayer, that's what. Why? Because absurdist white comedians who have no compunctions about offending all and sundry had the gall to don blackface for some of their comic characters. Therefore, this equates directly to Al Jolson, The Black and White Minstrel Show and dear old 'some of my best friends are black'-style Nazi Jim Davidson doing Chalky back in the dark ages, when TV was still rife with his ilk.
Of course, nope. It has been widely stated that we now have two competing viruses, one medical and the other social, but the latter is not racism. It's the insidious and uncontrolled spread of a belief that the virulently systemic racism of the American police force, and to an extent U.S. society as a whole, is something that people in this country have thus far failed to spot here, but it must be there because racial prejudice does exist here too, and therefore the situation must be rectified. This is still fine when a statue of a slavery profiteer, which should really have been taken discreetly away for 'renovation' a long time ago and then forgotten about somewhere deep and dusty to avoid any anti-PC nationalist backlash either, is thrown into the harbour. Mind you, my choice, and thankfully paralleled by that of some other longer-sighted individuals, would have been to simply stick a big plaque in front of the thing explaining the man's noxious misdeeds in full, and likewise with any of the other statues now being targeted, all the way to Churchill. Attempting to erase all historically significant figures who had shitty character traits is akin to erasing the history that led us to where we are, and that isn't far off burning books.
But locking away the aforementioned comedy shows is indicative of something quite different and alarming: it's simply anti-intellectualism from those unable to differentiate between laughing at people different from us and laughing at ridiculous racist stereotypes, which is all the shows in question do. It's a ban on satirising certain groups in society, for fear of causing offence, and therefore an attack on free satire itself. Chucking the real, unquestioning racism of Gone with the Wind in the same basket speaks volumes about the depth of analysis that is behind these decisions. Presumably, everything by Sacha Baron-Cohen is up next, starting with Ali G. To his credit for once, one-time cheeky chappie turned all-round misanthrope Harry Enfield refused to bow down and apologise for his past blackface characters. If comedians have any political duty at all, it's to mock that which is worthy of mockery, not to preach or educate. 
I don't do protest marches as a rule, as I'm truly lazy and also because I find they easily turn tribal and simplistic, but if we go any further down this path, I'm off on an essential shopping trip to get what I need to make crappy placards.

EDIT: Today, they also pulled the episode of Fawlty Towers where the gin-sozzled Major spouts some racist epithets. So even laughing at racist characters is verboten now. As all his abovementioned comic successors can be argued to have done, John Cleese may have wanted to have his cake and eat it by cleverly lampooning racism while allowing bigots who didn't get that they were the target to believe that they were being represented too, but the point still stands.

January 06, 2018

Once more, the Americans

I really don't care any more whether they chose to elect a mixed-race president (not black, not Muslim, not anything else they want to claim). But then they went and got in possibly the worst leader (a dictatorial, sexist, racist, chronically lying, mentally subnormal yet self-promoting demagogue, and that only scratches the surface) that a putative democracy has ever seen.
So:
1. A nation who makes its children pledge allegiance to a flag on a daily basis. That would be a basic fascist ingredient.
2. Half of the population go to church to pray to an imaginary being each week, and attribute all their successes to that being. Failures are down to the imaginary counterpart called the devil, or alternatively just any other external scapegoat.
3. They buy guns in supermarkets and millions complain that they can't kill people more quickly. "It's not defence, it's protection". Protecting kids from being shot in schools, obviously.
4. A blind belief that if someone has got rich, even if they were born rich, somehow makes them a person worth following.
5. An utter miscomprehension of what taxes are meant to be for (a functioning universal healthcare and education system, not the world's biggest military. Doh!), and a deep-seated level of illiteracy. Social healthcare has the word 'social' in it, therefore it must be socialist = communist. Ditto, liberal = people who tolerate anything at all. I bet they all molest children too, those liberals.
6. We don't know where all these foreign and unchristian places are, but fuck them, just to be on the safe side.
7. Except that worldwide terrorism seems to have increased many times over as a result. Do Americans, as a rule, see a wasps' nest and just keep on prodding it?
8. KISS. And country and western music, bar a few more socially aware performers, line dancing and the ubiquity of R & B 'megastars' with identikit autotune songs and five notes per syllable to demonstrate their 'soulfulness'. The country as a whole has turned out many creditable music acts, because it is very large and therefore has room for diversity, but then there are these turds floating at the top of the pool.
10. Stealing a large part of the rest of the world's inventions: apparently, Americans believe that anyone who moved there later on is a part of their creative pool and the fruits of their labours proof of America's God-given greatness.