The Best Band Names of All Time

It has always riled me how even the most transcendentally glorious pop collectives choose to pay such scant attention to their names - which they are, by and large, stuck with ad infinitum. To pick a random selection, the monosyllabics so in fashion in shoegazing days of yore e.g. Blur, (the) Verve, Pulp (and, of course, Rush) - people operating under the misapprehension that either less is more or, more likely, that anything longer is a bit like combing your hair every so often - just uncool, man.
Bollocks to that. What you want is something that sounds rock and makes obscure references at the same time, if at all possible. Hence, here follows my unashamedly self-focused list of the ten best band names of all time. You may note that I like most of these bands: the way I see it, usually the ability to come up with a cool name is married to the ability to produce interesting music. Usually. Also, no comedy names on this list - I'll leave that to someone else to do.

1. The Sisters of Mercy
What better for four pasty blokes in shades from Leeds. The religious connotations obviously allow you to back up all that pseudo-Christianity in the lyrics and design; it's also fashionably androgynous which then permits them to get away with any rock star misogyny they like. Refers to the Leonard Cohen song, in which the Sisters (an order of nuns) are shorthand for prostitutes. Holiness and selling yourself; an ideal metaphor for a rock band.
'Fields of the Nephilim', on the other hand, is just the product of throwing darts at pages in the Bible.

2. Orbital
Sounds suitably space-age but in act refers to the M25 orbital motorway, conjuring up images of night of driving around looking for those raves in a field somewhere off it. Any band name that makes you think of driving at night is de jure nails, as there is no better way of consuming music than in a car that's going too fast.
The similar 'The Orb', on the other hand, just makes me think of the rather dreadful sci-fier 'The Sphere'. Or a huge testicle of some ilk.

3. Joy Division
A fine example of graveyard humour. The name given to a detachment of prostitutes requisitioned by Nazi concentration camp guards.

4. Public Enemy
A fine boast, you might say. Admirably backed up by the stageshow with the Security of the First World and portentuous pronouncements by Chuck D on various apocalypses to come.

5. Spandau Ballet
The best of the gloriously pretentious New Romantic band names. And the worst of the bands. Spandau is of course where they held Rudolf Hess. I know this much is true.

6. Dead Kennedys
Though by my reckoning they're still short of a full membercount if that's their only pool of recruits.

7. Rammstein
Named after a US Air Force base in Germany where there was a rather large air disaster. The fact that they're East German must be significant.
And it sounds well hard.

8. Pink Floyd
Take two obscure bluesmen and mix. Then sit back as your already confused listening public tries to make sense of the results.

9. Einstürzende Neubauten
Translates as 'collapsing new buildings' (symptomatic of Eastern Bloc construction). It's also exactly what they sound like.

10. Velvet Underground
Sounds ever so porno. Good.